Now, I know you’ve been waiting for a while, but I think this one’s worth it. The Imperium Hamsterium - everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the Ancient World, but were afraid to Hamster!
As history dragged on, democracy was apparently invented by the trudgesome hordes that came after the Steppe Hamsters. It involved hitting the elected Prince until he sat down on an old pillar capstone, and then serving him up to the Bavarians along with some Wurst.
Seriously, this is all true.
If you want this piece of fine artwork on your wall, feel free to print it out. Just don’t sell it or stuff. :P
No Hamster today. But I have an excuse.
I finally posted something on Threadless! Here’s hoping … fingers crossed, nickers boxed.
Next: the Discovery of Bronze and the spread of Agriculture.
Obviously the out-of-Africa hypothesis is more likely than the neanderlovenia hypothesis, if nothing else, both the African protoslovenia and the modern Slovenia face East, while neanderlovenia faced West from beneath its beetling brows. The Tethys Rape hypothesis, while plausible to an extent, is severely hampered by the incredible amount of time that elapsed between the Rape and the first records of Slovenia. It is highly unlikely that an immature country or even Egg of State could survive the millennia that followed those events. The God hypothesis is only presented to make bible-thumpers happy, but we all know that both the Weevil and the Sociobiological Accident hypotheses are much more likely. Even the ridiculous idea that Geology takes Millions and Millions of Years is more likely than the Slippery God hypothesis, but there you have it.
Tomorrow: something else!
Welcome to Slovenia Hamsteriana! It is the pleasure of Hamster to present this realm of smashing(ed) cars, rivers of wine, rolling hills and standing steeples! Hamster will utilize the current interregnum to begin an in-depth, jaundiced overview of what it is to be Slovenish and what makes this land Slovenia.
Hamster will begin with geography, bypassing creationism in favour of evolutionary theory, head on to prehistory followed by posthistory, cross-reference the Khazars, switchback across the appearance of the Slavics and Bavarics, head into deep time, return with land reclamation ideologies and linguistic warfare theories, before alighting on the recent history of small differences and populist super-centrist nepotism and politicila bureaucratization.
Meanwhile I will try to keep a straight face, while current events and the financial crisis take over our country (and my bank account).
Note: Mappe resizes to 2000px.
Give blood to parasite hamster while you wait!
