Thursday, January 24, 2008
The Elfs and Elves defeated, we a-charged the uppity-stair past the glitter-halls of Consumpce and the shimmer-aisles of Green-Eye and the heaved hordes of Goods, towards that lord of the Mothership of Mass Consumption, the Red Man of the Red Star, He Who Births Christmas, the One and Only Repetitive and Timeless One, the Santaman. [...]
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
With a crash we were upon them! The Big Fat Star breach’d, the elves a-fear-ten’d! Our moment was now!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The hand, a magmatic, igneous extrusion of the Earth Herself, took it upon itself to uplift most suddenly and send us hurtling towards the sky-hooked Mothership of the Big Fat Star. Now I saw how Bloodmonkey could be confident, though the motion of this rocky ocean was causing sentiments of nausea and ground-love to churn [...]
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Bloodmonkey moved his hand in complex motion and touched a bead he bore upon his belt. Suddenly the ground beneath the Kurmatum al Hurd shook and lurched and groaned. Aghast I spake, “What’s thou done? This earth quack, is it doing of yours?” To which Bloodmonkey chortled, “Nay, I petted the Earth and this is [...]
“But regard! T’ seasons past, the diesel whales were slow,” I cried. But with dismissive snort Bloodmonkey lectured on the calendrical conundrum and the Crossedmanday celebrated by the Right Believers this very silent night. “Agreed,” I wailed, “But look, the Fat Red Star hangs limpid and malevolent in yon sky, while this rockship, this [...]
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Nonplussed was I as our optiscope brought close to mine oculars that Mothership of Mass, it’s top the cruciform oricular shape of that Great Beast, the Mickey, it’s body the Can of the Consumer and it’s understory a shimmering, bloating, ventrilating, flatulating mass of tangled and bewebbed sloganry and marketry. Bloodmonkey looked not unnerved and [...]
Saturday, December 15, 2007
I asked our Captain, “Why follow you yonder diesel whale, arrgh?” and he responced and essayed to explain, “Thaat diesel whaale you arrgh of, thaat is none other than the Celestial Diesel Whaale of the Flower and the Pot, who fell to this here faair Earth from the Skies aabove, materiaalizing when the High Improbaability [...]
Thursday, December 6, 2007
The Big Fat Star, known to men as that of Bethlehem, was beheld by Captain Bloodmonkey. And he *knew*. He knew it was no Star. Rather, it was the exhaust vent of the Jolly Wagon of Destruction, the Machine of Consumption, the Flaming Mothership of Mass. He gave the order and the Rock Ship Kurmatum [...]
Also filed in In Human News 2.0, Mosquito, Sheep
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Tagged A Christmas Tale, Bird, Christmas, Jolly Fat Man, Kurmatum al Hurd, Mosquito, Pirate sheep, Rock Sheep, rock ship, Sheep, xmas.
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Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Twenty days to Xmas. Still time to loot for presents and sell your soul for trinkets and baguettes. I read somewhere that in the UK alone 3 bn. euros worth of unwanted presents are given per Xmas.