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Tag Archives: Mosquito

#25 ‘Ware Santaman

The Elfs and Elves defeated, we a-charged the uppity-stair past the glitter-halls of Consumpce and the shimmer-aisles of Green-Eye and the heaved hordes of Goods, towards that lord of the Mothership of Mass Consumption, the Red Man of the Red Star, He Who Births Christmas, the One and Only Repetitive and Timeless One, the Santaman. [...]

#21 Contemplatio

“But regard! T’ seasons past, the diesel whales were slow,” I cried. But with dismissive snort Bloodmonkey lectured on the calendrical conundrum and the Crossedmanday celebrated by the Right Believers this very silent night. “Agreed,” I wailed, “But look, the Fat Red Star hangs limpid and malevolent in yon sky, while this rockship, this [...]

#18 The Big Fat Star

The Big Fat Star, known to men as that of Bethlehem, was beheld by Captain Bloodmonkey. And he *knew*. He knew it was no Star. Rather, it was the exhaust vent of the Jolly Wagon of Destruction, the Machine of Consumption, the Flaming Mothership of Mass. He gave the order and the Rock Ship Kurmatum [...]

#15 The Film Festiphal

It is the nature of film festivals that they present too much in too little time for too much money. Much like special store discounts and 2 for 1 offerings.

#10 Swimming Pepper

It’s actually quite simple to make a mock-up swimming pepper … all you need is some pins, two sardines, a pepper and a sharp knife.

#5 Everybloodystan

There, with that one pic you can stop following news reports on war, death and corruption. Hail sheep.

#4 Stork Changes

Totally unexpected (right) we can now sail to China through the melting Arctic Ocean.

#3 The Sperm Count

Now, you might not believe this, but birds are seriously penis defficient, possessing  only a cloaca. Also, you can add increased fertility to the list of the health benefits of sex.